


Ai Kotoba

by Umbry2000



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: And all the different types of love, And rare-pairs, Aromantic Presea Combatir, But was there ever a perfect gift to begin with?, F/M, Gift Giving, Mild Hurt/Comfort, More Vocaloid Titles, Post-Canon, Romantic Platonic Familial it's all here, Some Fluff, There are other relationships in this but Colloyd is the main focus, This did not end up as light-hearted as I wanted it to be :(, Valentine's Day, letters!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbry2000/pseuds/Umbry2000
Summary: On the lead-up to Valentine's Day, Lloyd hunts for the perfect gift with the help of his friends.♥ Happy Valentine's! ♥
Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	Ai Kotoba

**Author's Note:**

> Ai Kotoba = Love Word, taken from the [Deco*27 series of songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuLeNALsVmo). This includes one of my rare-pairs and a _lot_ of headcanons, and also features an aromantic Presea :) (I also headcanon Colette as demiromantic asexual but that's not relevant here). Aromantic is a romantic orientation that means feeling little to no romantic attraction.
> 
> The flashback is inspired by Darkhymn's Twitter drabble on Exspheres and mines :) You can read it [here](https://twitter.com/darkhymns/status/1353989752203087877?s=19)! The violet light imagery took me by the throat and would not let me go haha.
> 
> A reminder that Creator's Style is required to view the end of this fic, or it might break.
> 
> For some reason the solid black hearts appear as red on AO3 mobile? So if some hearts appear to be much larger than the white ones, that's why. It doesn't affect the fic though, so enjoy this mess of a fic! :D
> 
> ♥♥♥♥♥ 

_3 weeks to Valentine’s Day_

“Hey, Bud!” 

“Yes, Zelos?” Lloyd replied, glancing around furtively and on high alert for the flutter of skirts or the click of heels against the cobblestone path. He and Zelos were currently in what used to be the slums of Meltokio, though they couldn't be called that anymore in their current state. The living conditions had improved immensely since the end of their journey four years ago, but there were still visible changes from just one year ago when he and Colette had a brief stopover.

Even while dealing with other outstanding issues and the urgent need to cooperate with Sylvarant, Zelos had still taken Colette's suggestion to heart. Zelos had worked tirelessly with the Tethe'allan monarchy - both with the unification of the world and to improve equality, starting in his hometown of Meltokio. Zelos had worked himself to the bone, and the effect was palpable and honestly impressive. The settlements which had once been nothing more than sheets of wood or plastic cobbled together were now humble houses that could serve their role perfectly. 

Lloyd was proud of his friend’s work, of course. And he would be happy to look at what Zelos had accomplished! But he would rather not be walking around Meltokio with the Tethe'allan Chosen. There was a high chance they would be mobbed by a crowd of noblewomen, and while Zelos loved the attention, Lloyd hated it. And once it happened, there would be almost no hope of escape.

It hadn’t happened yet, thankfully, probably due to their current location in the city. Despite the absence of visible grime, there was still an obvious tone of judgement in the voices of the higher-class when they talked about the other denizens of Meltokio. Some things couldn't change overnight.

Still, Lloyd would rather not risk getting trapped.

“How’re things going with the little angel?”

“Um, good?” Lloyd mumbled, avoiding Zelos’ gaze. He was never quite sure what to make of that question, even after the many times Zelos had asked it. Why was Zelos so eager to know, anyway? 

“ _Good?_ That’s the same answer you gave last time! Don’t be so boring!”

“What answer am I supposed to give?” Lloyd protested, staring down at the cobblestones and dragging his shoes against them. 

He and Colette had officially been in a relationship for the past two years, and yet nothing much had changed from the time they were friends. He had simply, as per normal, spent every day with Colette on their journey to collect the remaining Exspheres. It was quiet and peaceful, and that was enough for him. They were both happy, and that was all that mattered, surely.

Lloyd didn’t think any word could encompass his experience with Colette and the emotions every moment with her brought, so he had no idea how to answer Zelos.

“Don’t we have more important things to discuss? Like the Great Bridge?” Lloyd asked, hoping to steer the conversation towards the reason he and Colette were here in Tethe'alla in the first place. The Great Bridge was one of the largest monuments in Tethe'alla powered by Exspheres, which meant it used an abhorrently large number of them. That was a giant collection of souls that Lloyd hoped to free from the eternal purgatory they were entrapped in. 

But to do that required extensive collaboration with the Tethe'allan monarchy, which was where Zelos came in.

“Bud, I told you that I’m handling it! Just trust me, alright?” Zelos replied, waving away Lloyd’s concerns with a flippant wave of his arm. Lloyd sighed. He wasn’t going to be getting much done today, was he? Zelos was far more interested in grilling him about his love life than doing anything productive.

Lloyd didn't mind too much, since he couldn't detect any ill intent in Zelos's voice. Not that Lloyd believed Zelos would be purposely mean-spirited.

Eyes alight with a mischievous shine, Zelos grinned, clapping Lloyd on the back and causing him to stumble forward, catching himself with his hands on his knees. “At least tell me you have something planned for Valentine’s Day! It’s coming up in less than a month!” 

Lloyd straightened, mind turning over the unfamiliar words that he'd never heard before. Then again, Tethe'alla had a lot of weird traditions that he couldn't even begin to understand.

What did Valentine's Day celebrate? 

“Bud? Why aren't you moving?" Zelos asked, coming to a stop and turning to face Lloyd, right hand placed on his waist.

"What does Valentine's Day celebrate?" Lloyd asked guilelessly, unaware that he had just plunged Zelos into a pit of disbelief.

"Wait - you _don't know_ what Valentine's Day is? How could I have forgotten to tell you?" 

Zelos grabbed Lloyd by the shoulders, fingers gripping tightly like the fate of the world depended on him understanding what Valentine's Day was. Zelos' blue eyes were wide as he shoved his face closer to Lloyd's, and Lloyd leaned back as much as he could without falling over, not liking how close the other was. Was Valentine's Day _this_ important?

"It's the day that celebrates love and romance! The greatest holiday of all time, where couples give gifts to each other! Do you know how many gifts I get from women on Valentine’s Day alone? It’s _heaven!_ ” 

Lloyd laughed nervously, pushing Zelos’ hands away and taking a step back. So Valentine’s was another opportunity to be fawned over by his Hunnies? Yeah, he could see why Zelos liked it so much. All Lloyd cared about right now, though, was getting Zelos off his case.

“What’s it got to do with me, though?” 

“You have to do something for the little angel! That’s the only way to proclaim your love! You didn’t nail the dramatic confession, so you have to get this one right!” 

Lloyd _knew_ he hadn’t done an over-the-top confession. It had been a spur of the moment decision, in the _least_ romantic location ever - an Exsphere mine near Asgard, abandoned from a previous period of Sylvarant’s prosperity. 

_“That should be the last one in here. Now they can all be at peace.” Colette placed the lone Exsphere in Lloyd’s palm with her usual gentle touch, a smile on her face._

_The mine they were in had a lamp system that had once run on mana, but that store of mana had long since run dry. As a result, it was pitch black inside, and the two of them had resorted to the gentle light their wings emanated to illuminate the path ahead._

_Under the soft, commingled purple light, the planes of Colette’s face were highlighted and her small, happy smile seemed incredibly bright, almost like it could light up the darkness all on its own. All Lloyd could do was stare at the breathtaking angel in front of him, marvelling at all the love and care she carried in her heart, enough to surround the whole world. How lucky he was to be able to spend every day by her side._

_“Colette, I - I love you.” The words that he had kept hidden in his heart for as long as he could remember tumbled out, just like that, as his hand curled over the Exsphere in his palm, feeling the rough edges of it through his gloves._

_Her gaze had snapped to his, holding disbelief, and in the seconds before her response, his heart had beat so fast that the blood rushing past his ears drowned out all other sounds. Did she not feel the same? Maybe... maybe she only cared for him as a friend._

_Even if that were the case, he would be happy to stay with her for the rest of eternity as nothing more than a friend. Simply enjoying her companionship was enough._

_But Colette took his free hand, intertwining her fingers securely with his like she would never let go._

_She nodded, that smile growing ever more radiant. “I love you too. I always have.”_

It had been simple, and at that moment everything had felt right. It was like the final missing puzzle piece had finally been put into place: admitting what had gone unrecognised for years. 

But now, Lloyd couldn’t help but second-guess himself. Zelos had told him that his confession was pitiful and that he really should have planned better to go all-out. 

“A candle-lit dinner would have been amazing! A mine is the most boring location ever. Horrible lighting, stale air - what a buzz-kill!” That had been Zelos' exact words, which had certainly taken all the wind out of Lloyd’s sails.

He and Colette hadn’t purposefully gone on many dates since then. It had just been them together, facing one day at a time. Some were quiet and peaceful, others filled with excitement. And Lloyd was perfectly fine letting nature take its course, content with the way things were.

But he couldn’t help but question. Maybe that wasn’t what Colette wanted. Maybe he was going about this wrong. Maybe he should be offering to bring her out on dates, attempting to shower her in gifts - what the ideal boyfriend would be like, according to Zelos. Maybe she wasn’t asking him for anything because she was afraid to, and was just hiding behind a content face. 

“ - to bud? _BUD!_ ” 

Lloyd snapped back to attention to find Zelos’s hand being waved in his face. Right, he was still with Zelos in the middle of Meltokio. 

And Lloyd made his decision then and there. He would use the time before Valentine’s Day to find the perfect gift for the person he loved. Something amazing to fit the incredible person that Colette was. Something that could adequately express the way he felt around her. 

“Sorry, Zelos. I was just thinking… So, what do people usually give on Valentine's day?” They resumed their walk, with Lloyd determined to get some information out of Zelos.

“So you are thinking about it! Good,” Zelos replied, steepling his fingers together with a devilish grin on his face. “People often give chocolates. Just thinking about all the young girls who are going to give me boxes of handmade chocolates is making me salivate already… It’s the beauty of young love!”

“Right,” Lloyd muttered, knowing that he’d lost Zelos. 

“So handmade chocolates…” He could see how the time and effort took to hand-make them could make them a good gift. But how did one go about making chocolates? He’d have to do some research.

“Now that I think about it, maybe you shouldn’t hand make chocolates?” Zelos was the one to come to a stop this time, frowning. “Just - just stick to the store sold ones. Those are perfectly fine.”

“But there’s nothing special about those, are they?” If store sold chocolates were the go-to gift, didn't that make them the “boring” that Zelos always warned him to steer clear of? What was the point, then? 

And Lloyd could cook just fine! He was the proud maker of the Dwarven Stew recipe, after all! How hard could it be?

“Just - just trust me on this, alright?” Zelos hurriedly said, shaking his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

"No! I'm not giving her chocolates unless I make them himself!” Lloyd declared, walking ahead and already contemplating the intricacies of chocolate making. He’d do it. Just watch him!

♥♥♥ 

Zelos sighed, having been left in the dust. He hoped he’d managed to steer Lloyd in the right direction.

Valentine’s Day was a day for celebrating love and romance? What a farce. He did receive countless gifts from his hunnies on Valentine’s Day as they proclaimed their “undying love” for him. He hadn’t been lying about that to Lloyd.

But it was all fake, part of the delicate efforts to maintain a facade that Zelos hated with his entire being. Those shallow gifts were nothing more than a representation of Tetheallan high society’s lust for power, meant to keep people in his good faith by showing their supposed adoration - another part of the leash that Meltokio tied around his neck to keep him in place.

Valentine’s only strengthened the knowledge that he was utterly alone. No one had given a gift to him out of genuine love - not since the time Seles had made him a bracelet out of multi-coloured strings, a long time ago. The strings had frayed and the colours had long since faded, but Zelos still cherished that gift and kept it safe.

The many gifts he had received since then were nothing more than a bitter reminder of the role he was locked into. They meant nothing to him. For so long, there had never been anyone who saw him for who he was, and those who did, he had pushed away.

But he couldn’t tell Lloyd all that. Lloyd and Colette deserved to have Valentine’s be a happy affair, untainted by Zelos' misgivings. Their relationship was pure and beautiful, so starkly different from the dance of deception that passed for love in Meltokio. It was something he ached to experience himself, for who hadn't heard of the fairytale version of love and longed for it? _But surely, that was impossible,_ was what he believed for the longest time.

Maybe now he could try to find his happy ending. Zelos had attempted to apologise to Sheena the entire month after his false betrayal at the Tower of Salvation, to explain all the emotions that had run through his head - despair and hope battling with each other for dominance, and how hope had eventually broken through in small glimmers to influence his final decision. But Sheena had avoided him expertly, escaping conversations or using someone else as a shield.

The wound that he had savagely slashed over her heart was too fresh for Sheena to accept his apology, Zelos supposed. And so life had gone on, with the two of them rarely seeing each other. They met only when Sheena had to visit Meltokio for diplomatic reasons, and things were still unbearably tense and awkward. Zelos hated it and he longed to return to the days when they could at least act civil with each other.

It had been four years. Maybe it was time to try again, to make the amends that he desperately needed to.

_I wonder if Sheena would accept a card for this Valentine’s… And I owe her an apology. Too many._

Zelos smiled, shaking his head as he ran to catch up to Lloyd. He had faith that Lloyd would find the perfect gift for their little angel. And he had plans to make. 

Hopefully, Lloyd came to his senses soon and realised that hand-making chocolates were not the best idea. 

For Martel’s sake, he’d found a _shoe_ in Lloyd’s Dwarven Stew once. 

♡♡♡

_2 weeks to Valentine’s Day_

“ _Checkmate._ That’s my fifth victory today,” Genis crowed, triumphantly knocking Lloyd’s King to the floor before placing his King in its place. Lloyd, resting his elbow on the wooden table, leaned down to pick up the white piece that had rolled slightly across the dirt, placing it back safely on the table. 

“Do you need to be so violent?” Lloyd grumbled, beginning to arrange the pieces back to their starting positions. 

When he and Genis had first started playing chess, they had both agreed that the loser would reset the board to its neutral position. Lloyd had done this so many times that the pieces' positions were burned into his brain. Genis hadn't done it once.

The other condition was that the loser had to treat the victor to a meal.

...maybe that deal hadn’t been _quite_ fair. Lloyd’s wallet was beginning to feel the brunt of his losses.

“One day, a piece is going to roll off the side of Exire.” 

“We’re nowhere near the edge, Lloyd. That’s not going to be an issue,” Genis replied with an amused smile. “At least you know the rules of chess now. Wanna play another round before Colette gets back?" Genis asked, picking his Queen off the board and rolling it between his fingers. 

"No, I'm good. I have something I wanted to ask you."

"It's about Colette, right?" Genis grinned at the expression of shock on Lloyd's face, having predicted his line of questioning perfectly. "You have that look on your face. So, what is it? Trouble in paradise?"

"Nothing like that. Have you heard of Valentine's Day?" Lloyd started the conversation with that extremely safe question, preferring to hide the increasing depths of panic he had felt over the passing week. Besides, if he hadn't heard of it, maybe Genis hadn't either!

"That silly little Tethe'allan holiday? Yeah, I've heard of it." Despite the flat tone Genis tried to go for, he wasn't able to hide the tiny blush that was appearing on his cheeks. That had always been what gave him away, even when his affections had been directed towards Presea.

"Seles told me about it," Genis mumbled. 

Ah. So that was it. They were both in the same boat, then.

"So, what are you planning to get her?" Lloyd asked, _really_ hoping he didn't come across as too desperate. 

Unfortunately, he had to drop the chocolate idea. There just weren't many opportunities to practice discreetly when most of his time was spent alone with Colette. Sneaking away or giving excuses just left a sour taste in his mouth. It felt too much like betraying her trust when she’d already been lied to for so much of her life. 

That left only the dead of night to practice. However, none of the final products looked remotely like the delicately handcrafted chocolates that sat in Meltokian storefronts. Sometimes, there were even noxious fumes. Things were starting to look too much like when Professor Raine experimented, and that was never a good thing. Lloyd had no choice but to admit defeat.

It hadn't been practical, to begin with - he had zero experience with making chocolates. Surely that was the only reason he wasn't succeeding! Chocolates just weren't his thing.

But that brought him straight back to square one. Since Lloyd was here with Genis today, he might as well pick his genius friend's brain. 

"I'm not getting _anyone_ anything!" Genis snapped defensively, the blush on his cheeks only intensifying until it was a rosy red. "Flowers. I'm going - I'VE HEARD THAT FLOWERS ARE POPULAR!" Genis ended his answer with a yell, defiantly slamming his hands on the table and glaring at Lloyd, daring him to say something.

Lloyd decided, tactfully, not to point out the little slip-up Genis had made.

But flowers…? He and Colette had quite the history with flowers. 

How many flower crowns had he made her when they were but children? He had learned how to weave the stems together securely to ensure the crown maintained its shape for days while ensuring the delicate little things weren’t crushed. He had learned which flowers lasted the longest and complemented each other and Colette’s golden hair the best. Under the setting sun, with flowers stretching out all around her, she had resembled a dainty forest queen.

Colette, in response to the little gifts he gave her, always responded with a radiant smile that made each day better. Lloyd had gladly made her more, content to see Colette's smiling face.

But it had all been a facade, hadn’t it? He had done it all, thinking that they were both having fun and that everything was right in the world. But to Colette, it had been so much more - the little rays of sunshine that broke through a sky constantly smothered with dark clouds that she had clung to for hope.

And Colette never asked for more. She was content with the little moments of happiness she could get, and never tried to change her fate or confide in anyone else. 

It felt wrong, somehow, to give Colette something he associated with innocent days - when really, she had always been hiding her despair behind a brave face. He had never bothered to push beyond the mask to see the fear she buried and the tears she held back, not until it was almost too late. 

Even now, he had the sense that Colette was still holding herself back. She had never asked for anything in their time together, and knowing her, she wouldn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. Sometimes, it felt like she _had_ to get someone's permission, someone's affirmation, to be allowed to be happy.

Lloyd had thought, once upon a time, that everything would be fixed once he saved the world. He had thought that was enough for Colette to be free. But those were the fantasies of a naive child, who had seen the world in black and white and thought every problem had an easy solution. 

It had been heartbreaking to admit that the world wasn't like that. It comprised of every shade of grey. There were some things that could just never be fixed. The claws of fear had dug themselves so deeply into Colette's heart that to this very day, their mark still lingered. And it would always be present.

What could he really do, then...?

“ _LLOYD! EARTH TO LLOYD!_ ” Genis’ loud yell brought Lloyd back to reality. Genis was staring at him in clear concern. “You’re serious about this, aren't you? You shouldn’t be thinking this deeply over anything.”

 _“Oi!”_ Lloyd scowled at that little jab from Genis, secretly glad for the return to normalcy. 

“Let’s talk about something else. How… How’s your Mother?” Lloyd asked, looking down at the table. He hesitated to even ask that question. It had been four years, but Lloyd knew better than anyone how raw these wounds would always remain. 

That’s just the way it was with family. The people meant to protect you were also the ones who left behind the deepest scars, because they held your heart and had the capacity shatter it - sometimes carelessly, sometimes cruelly. 

But Lloyd had come here to catch up with Genis. And the only thing he _could_ do in this situation was to provide support. Genis wouldn’t want to beat around the bush.

“Better. Some days, Mother can even recognise Sis. She… still hasn’t recognised me.” Lloyd could understand Genis’ wavering smile. Knowing that your family was still alive but forever out of reach - maybe that was worse than knowing they were dead. 

“I’m sure the day will come,” Lloyd reassured him. “After all, the three of you… have all of eternity.” 

A 1000 years, to Lloyd, seemed like an impossibly long time. And elves lived even longer, didn’t they? Surely Virginia would be able to recover in that time with the assistance of her family’s love and the power of medicine. He had hope that Genis and Raine would get the happy ending they deserved. They’d gone through so much and still came out the other side with their heads held high, and still desired to forge a safe place for other half-elves to live.

“Yeah. I… I want her blessing when I - _if_ I get married,” Genis corrected, resting his chin on his hand and staring off into the distance. “It would just feel right.”

Lloyd’s hand wandered to the golden locket hung around his throat, the final gift from his birth father before he had left for Dherris-Kharlan. Getting your parent’s blessing… that was the conventional thing to do, wasn’t it? Lloyd couldn’t help but feel envious that his best friend could at least dream of that - something that’s now forever out of his reach.

“I’m sure Kratos already knew, Lloyd.” 

“What…?” 

“And he wouldn’t have left if he didn’t think you were in good hands,” Genis continued. “I’m sure he approved, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“But how would he have known?” Lloyd asked, confused. He hadn't said anything... 

“You two were _so_ obvious. You were dating Colette before you started officially dating her! Really, how dense could you two be?” Genis teased, grinning. 

_“Hey!”_ Lloyd cried, standing up in indignation. He wasn’t going to take that insult to his intelligence sitting down.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Dirk’s already planned your wedding!” Genis yelled before taking off as Lloyd chased after him, determined to catch the little brat.

“Do remember to invite all of us, Lloyd! I’m sure we would all like to give our blessings!” Genis called over his shoulder, picking up speed. 

_“Come back here!”_ Lloyd cried, no heat behind his statement at all. He was unable to keep a smile from growing on his face from the reminder Genis’ words had given him.

Family was more than just the people who had brought you into this world. They were those who had been there when it mattered, who Lloyd cared for and trusted. Lloyd already had Dirk, and his family had only grown.

And Lloyd loved them all, just as much as he loved his birth parents.

♥♥♥ 

“Gotcha.” Lloyd grinned, latching onto Genis’ arm. “No more running away now!” 

“Damn it,” Genis cursed, letting Lloyd pull them both onto the grass. They were both far too old to be acting so childish, but Genis had gotten caught. So he would make the concession, just this once. _Only_ because he had lost.

“Honestly, though, don’t worry too much about what to give Colette,” Genis said, sitting up. “You’ll come across the perfect idea naturally. You know her best, so you’ll figure it out. I believe in you.” 

Genis had grown up watching his two friends fall in love with each other - watching the two of them instantly brighten when the other turned up, watching the two of them seeking out each other’s hands at every given opportunity, and watching how the two of them found comfort in each other.

They’d been in love for so long without realising it, which was honestly frustrating to watch. Genis had breathed a giant sigh of relief when Lloyd had told him they were finally together. They could finally find happiness together.

He could also openly make fun of them acting like a couple, which was a plus. 

Colette and Lloyd’s love for each other, for the most part, wasn’t intense, like a giant bonfire that threw sparks everywhere. Instead, it was a simmering fire - gentle, steady and always present. It cast light over everyone else and let everyone around it feel its warmth. It was comforting to watch.

Genis hoped he could experience the same someday. It had stung when Presea had kindly but firmly ended their relationship, explaining that she didn’t feel the same. She had told him that it wasn't anything he had done - it just hadn't worked out. Still, Genis couldn't help but think it had been something he'd done. He had pored over every moment spent with Presea, trying to identify his mistake. Maybe it was because he hadn't spent enough time with her, having to split it between his studies at Palmacosta Academy and dates with Presea. Maybe he hadn't put in enough effort, or maybe he hadn't catered to her interests, or maybe, maybe, maybe. The list of errors he had potentially made went on forever. For a short time, he’d been crushed and thought he would never have his opportunity at romance.

Looking back only two years later, Genis had to admit that he’d been spectacularly stupid. Love wasn’t perfect - it was messy and complicated and honestly scary, and there was no need to focus on it too much now. He had a long life ahead of him with which to experience it - to have his heart broken countless times, but also to learn what it meant to love with all of one’s heart. 

“Thanks, Genis.” Lloyd replied, sitting up as well. Some of the tension in Lloyd’s voice had left. Lloyd had been distracted throughout the entirety of their game of chess and had played even worse than usual, making Genis' victory feel rather hollow. Hopefully, he'd helped Lloyd feel better... It didn't feel right to see his first and closest friend so down, especially since he was worrying over a non-issue. _Nothing_ could shatter the love between his two friends. Surely.

Maybe now they could play another match on more equal footing? 

Nah, Lloyd was _terrible_ at chess. How he’d managed to get Lloyd to agree to play in the first place was a mystery. But it was fun to watch Lloyd’s downright pathetic plays when he got cornered. 

Not to mention the free food! 

“ _What_ do we have here?” 

Genis froze, his blood running cold at the familiar voice of his sister. 

Gulping, Genis turned to find Raine standing nearby with her hands placed on her waist, surveying the chaos she had chanced upon. Chess pieces were scattered across the grass and the board itself had somehow been flung more than a metre from the table in the midst of Lloyd's frantic chase. Colette stood next to Raine, smiling nervously at the catastrophe which she had just orchestrated, clutching her sketchbook close to her chest.

“Aren’t you two a little too old for such childish behaviour?” Raine berated. “This is embarrassing!” 

“We’ll clean it up! Promise!” Lloyd hurriedly said, scrambling to his feet. 

“Won’t you go a little easy on them?” Colette pleaded, bending down to begin picking up the lone chess pieces. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to make such a mess.”

“Too late,” Raine growled, cracking her knuckles and approaching them threateningly. “Get ready for your punishment.”

He and Lloyd were dead. They were going to be buried right here, having been murdered by his sister.

This was all Lloyd’s fault.

♡♡♡

_1 Week to Valentine’s Day_

“Presea!” Colette squealed, quickly closing the short distance between her and the pink-haired girl standing in the entrance to Ozette. She threw her arms around Presea, squeezing tightly. 

“Hello, Colette. You seem excited,” Presea replied, gingerly disentangling herself from Colette’s embrace and picking up the axe she had dropped. 

“I haven’t seen you in so long! Of course, I’ll be excited!” 

“Hello, Lloyd.” Presea directed her attention towards him, standing a distance away enjoying the fresh air of Ozette. “Would you like a hug too?” 

“I’m good!” Lloyd waved away Presea’s open arms. Given that she was still grasping an axe in her hand, Presea looked like she was brandishing it straight at him. It was a sight that could strike fear into the heart of anyone, but was tempered by the small smile on her face.

Presea had put on quite a lot of height in the time that he hadn't seen her. She had gone through a growth spurt and shot upwards, and now the top of her head nearly reached his shoulders. Presea was taller than Genis now, which was hilarious.

“It’s good to be back in Ozette.” Ozette had, impressively, been rebuilt within the first few months of its razing - the wooden houses Lloyd could see from the entrace were the perfect image of the past. Some of it was due to the support Regal had provided by using the funds of the Lezerano Company, but most of it had been due to the town’s villagers working harmoniously together. 

Presea had been in the middle of it all, eager to rebuild the home that must have held her precious childhood memories, that of the family she had lost. And through her efforts, she had managed to show the villagers that she wasn’t the monster they thought she was. The villagers had finally managed to put aside their fear of Presea in honour of a common goal, and in the process had finally accepted her as a person. 

Presea had refound her original family, but would always be welcome to seek their company.

“Shall we go?” Presea hefted the axe over her shoulder easily like it was nothing more than a feather, a feat that still amazed Lloyd every time he witnessed it.

“Let’s!” Colette agreed, nodding her head enthusiastically and grabbing Lloyd's hand to tug him along, a bright smile on her face as well. 

Lloyd smiled and let himself relax, ready to enjoy the day with one of his friends. The reassurances from Genis had calmed a substantial amount of the panic that had initially swelled after Zelos had informed him of Valentine's. Honestly, he’d been so preoccupied with what to get Colette that he’d been forgoing time with those precious to him. 

All he wanted was to get Colette something she would love. Once he'd calmed down and gotten to thinking about what Colette actually liked, an idea had come to him fairly quickly. He could even make her gift by hand like he initially wanted to with the chocolate idea... 

Hopefully he would be able to approach Presea for pointers tonight. She was the best source of advice available for what he was trying to do, and he didn't want to miss the only opportunity he had before Valentine's. He and Colette weren't staying in Ozette for long, and he wanted the craftsmanship of his gift to be as excellent as possible.

But he wouldn't bother thinking about it now! Lloyd stuffed the little block of wood further into one of his pockets. Out of sight, out of mind.

Time to enjoy a day of fun!

♥♥♥

Presea walked up to the figure hunched over the table, whose hands were a blur of motion, manipulating tools to shape a block of wood. The moon, visible through the window, hung high in the sky, washing the room in ethereal silver light.

Whatever Lloyd was working on had to be important if he was staying up this late. Curiously, she peeked over his shoulder to get a better view.

“What are you carving, Lloyd?” 

“Ah, Presea!” Lloyd whipped his head around, dropping the carving tools on the table with a prominent thunk that hopefully didn't disrupt Colette's rest. It was a testament to how concentrated Lloyd was that a battle-tuned warrior such as him didn’t take notice of her footfalls. 

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's OK! Here, let me show you." Lloyd turned the half-carved wood towards her, letting her see the fine details that had begun to take shape. She could recognise a snout, ears and the beginning of paws. 

“It’s a gift for Colette." It had to be, given the creature Lloyd was carving. It hadn’t yet been refined, but she could tell, even from the rough shape, how lovingly it was made. And Lloyd would spare no expense for Colette.

“Yeah. For Valentine’s.”

Presea ran her fingers over the grooves, letting the wood speak to her. "Valentine's..."

The holiday to celebrate love and romance...

Presea had once fantasised about her own happy ending - her knight in shining armour riding up on a white horse, straight out of one of the fairytales father had loved to tell her and Alicia. Those fantasies had been buried when father had fallen sick. She'd been so busy trying to keep her family together that she'd forgotten to think about romance. And then Rodyle had happened, pushing those thoughts even further down.

Presea had been completely blindsided by Genis' confession, but had agreed to try out... something. What were real relationships even like? What was _love_ like? Having awakened from her Exsphere-induced slumber, she wanted to know. She wanted to experience it, that magical feeling of knowing you belonged with someone else. She liked Genis well enough, so maybe it would work out. Maybe she could _learn_ to love him.

She'd ended it out of guilt. She was happy enough spending time with Genis, but even after spending months together, there was no sudden spark in her heart. She loved him as a friend but nothing more, and it felt wrong to continue when she had no hope of reciprocating.

Presea had spent the months after questioning herself. How was it that there was a void in her heart where her capacity to love should be? How was it that no matter how hard she tried, she could never be like everyone else? Was this just another thing that her Exsphere had taken from her?

Was she simply doomed to be an unfeeling monster, frozen in time?

It had taken time to accept herself. Accept that she loved just as fiercely as anyone else, just in a different way. Family and friends were the most important people to her, and there was nothing wrong with that. 

Maybe one day she would experience romance, but it wasn't now, and it didn't matter. There were so many other beautiful things in life to experience.

But still, being confronted with all the happy couples on Valentine's Day was a little draining. Even watching Lloyd and Colette could make her feel a little hollow, sometimes. But that didn't detract from her desire for them to be happy together. There was no value in putting herself down because of other's happiness. Why not celebrate it?

There were so many other forms of love that filled every corner of this world. Why limit herself to only celebrating romance on Valentine's?

“It’s beautiful. I’m sure Colette will love it,” Presea said, setting the little figurine back on the table.

“Thanks,” Lloyd replied. “But I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Of course.”

Presea took a seat at the table, ready to hear her friend out.

She would help, in whatever way she could.

♡♡♡

_4 Days to Valentine’s Day_

“Still awake, Lloyd?”

“Regal? Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?” Lloyd asked, turning to face the older man. Regal was holding two flutes of champagne, one of which he offered to Lloyd.

“Late nights are pretty common for me, Lloyd. Having to manage a large company is busy work.”

“Right.” Lloyd accepted the champagne, taking a small sip and letting its rich taste flood his mouth, hoping it could clear his tired mind just a little. It was a miracle that he hadn't injured himself with how dark it was _and_ how incredibly exhausted he was. Pulling multiple late-nighters in a row had not been the best of ideas, but he didn't _have_ any other ideas on how to finish his gift in time.

“Is that your Valentine’s Gift?” Regal reached out to pick up the little figurine sitting on the table, which Lloyd had just completed the refining touches to. 

“Yeah. I’ll clean up the wood shavings later! So sorry about, well, this...” Lloyd replied, staring guiltily at the mess he'd left on the table. Which, now that he looked closely at it, seemed quite expensive... 

“Don't worry about the table, Lloyd. Besides, your gift… it’s beautiful.” 

“You too? It’s nothing great,” Lloyd dismissed. He'd gotten the same compliment from Presea. “It’s nothing compared to Presea’s.”

Presea’s figurines preserved the most intricate details and textures he had ever seen, somehow able to showcase expressions and emotions. They were incredible. He could never measure up to them.

“I just hope the message gets across," Lloyd muttered, lifting the figurine into the air to inspect it for any mistakes. He had expended many nights on this gift, hoping to make it perfect. 

There was still some instinctual nervousness that came with the gift-giving territory that Lloyd couldn't get rid of... Logically, he knew it was a good gift. It was both practical and cute. He'd put his all into this gift, much like the birthday necklace that came to serve as Colette's Key Crest, which he'd made without a worry in the world. Things had been so much simpler back then.

But Lloyd would never return to that past, for it meant not seeing the real Colette: all the uncertainty and doubt she carried upon that fragile back.

"Why not write a note, then?" Regal suggested. "If a material gift isn't enough to get your feelings across, why don't you write them down? It gives you the time to organise your thoughts, and there's no shame in it."

A note...? Lloyd lowered his head, thinking over the idea. He wasn't great with words, but at least he could plan what he wanted to write. It wasn't a bad idea... 

"That's a great idea. Thanks!" Lloyd broke out into a grin, grateful for the inspiration.

"Always glad to help, Lloyd. But don't worry too much about it," Regal said, patting Lloyd lightly on the back. 

"Genis said the same thing. He said I didn't need to worry too much about it, because I would find the perfect gift."

"I'm certain that's true as well, but that's not what I meant. I understand wanting to give a gift for special occasions, but it isn't the be-all-end-all in a relationship. You know, what Alicia enjoyed the most wasn’t expensive gifts.”

Lloyd raised his head, listening raptly to Regal’s voice and the nostalgia it held. Regal never recounted his time with Alicia - the pain must still be fresh, even so many years later. For Regal to be talking about it now...

“Of course they made her happy. But what we both appreciated the most was the time we spent together and all the little things we did for each other. It didn’t need to be perfect, because no one was perfect.” 

Regal rested his hand on Lloyd’s shoulder, a reassuring smile on his face. “You have a whole lifetime ahead of you, so don’t worry too much about a single gift. Love her and be there for her, and she will surely feel it.” 

Just love her...? Lloyd doesn't remember the exact moment he fell in love with Colette, but he remembers with crystal clarity the second he recognised that love, standing in the Tower of Salvation. Being unable to reach Colette no matter how desperately he tried, and realising he's about to lose her, possibly forever. That feeling, like his heart was being ripped apart at the seams, was something he would never forget.

Was it enough, though? All he _could_ do was stay by Colette's side, no matter how prevalent the dark clouds were, whether they be just a single pinprick or covering the whole sky. He would always be willing to steady her hand as she reached for the happiness she willingly deserved. Colette was so incredibly strong. She just needed to discover that strength.

He wanted her to know...

“Thanks,” Lloyd replied, taking another sip of champagne. He would have to think over this more...

"Anytime, Lloyd."

♥♥♥

Regal smiled fondly as he gently draped a blanket over Lloyd, who had fallen asleep slumped over onto the table. Lloyd's half-drank flute of champagne still stood, bubbles lazily rising through the liquid.

Watching Lloyd and Colette… it was difficult to describe. It was like a vision of what he and Alicia used to be, and what they could have been were it not for Rodyle’s nefarious meddling. It stung sometimes - a reminder of all that he had lost by his own hands. The guilt of having Alicia’s blood on his hands and the horror he had felt as the life left his beloved's eyes would never leave him, even if he had accepted it wasn't his fault.

But before the painful memories, there had been happy moments, times that should have been looked back on with a fond smile but which had been tainted with his guilt. 

Regal had finally been able to reclaim those memories after gaining Presea’s tentative forgiveness, seeing them for what they should always have been - a reminder of the amazing person Alicia had been and all the moments they had shared. Alicia placing a glass containing a single flower on his desk every morning, him wishing her a good morning every day without fail... The memories of the little actions they did for each other, sometimes without noticing, could always bring a smile to his face. 

Sometimes, Regal would see Lloyd and Colette hesitate around each other, both held back by complex emotions that Regal couldn’t say he fully understood. But no one knew better than him the regret of letting guilt worm its way into one’s heart. Regal had been unable to see past his own, so willing to give up his life to atone for his sins that he’d been chained in place. 

He knew now that throwing away his life would have meant disrespecting Alicia’s hopes for him, her desire for him to live on and experience the joys of life in her place. The best way to honour Alicia’s memory, then, was to push on. To live his life to the fullest, and protect Presea, the other person Alicia had loved and would have wanted to be happy. 

There were some things that people could never forgive themselves for, that they felt they could never do enough to make up for. But to wallow in guilt meant wasting the precious time one had. He didn’t want Lloyd and Colette to make the same mistake he did. He wanted them to live their lives to the fullest and enjoy life with each other - to experience the happy ending that had been snatched away from him and Alicia. 

Regal downed the remaining champagne, thinking about his schedule for the next few days. He would have to tell George to schedule a visit to Ozette to pick up Presea and a few Ozette Wildflowers. 

They were Alicia’s favourite flowers, and a perfect gift for Valentine’s.

♡♡♡

_Valentine’s Day_

“Lloyd! Over here!”

Colette waved enthusiastically, signalling for Lloyd to join her on the neatly folded picnic blanket she was currently sitting on. The blanket was placed on a grassy outlook overlooking the plains near Asgard - it afforded a stunning view of both the plains and the night sky, and the blanket was comfy as well. 

It was the perfect spot for a spontaneous midnight date, lit by the twinkling stars overnight, and Colette was glad that she had managed to convince Lloyd to stop here for the night. 

Lloyd had seemed rather distracted the whole day, drifting off into his thoughts and being generally unresponsive until she got his attention again. He kept putting his hand into his pocket like he was checking for something, but what exactly she didn’t know. 

He’d been like this for the past three weeks, but it had only gotten worse today. Unusual behaviour for Lloyd to say the least, but Colette wouldn’t dig.

She trusted him. He would tell her when he was ready, and not a second before. After all, he held far more courage than her cowardly self. 

“You’ve been practising again, huh?” Lloyd asked, pointing to the sketchbook sitting in her lap that was currently filled to the brim of messy drawings of the night sky. 

“Oh! Well, it’s still nothing good…” Colette hugged the sketchbook to her chest, hiding the rather embarrassing drawings on the current page. She had loved drawing as a child - Grandmother had shown her all the unintelligible scribbles of fruit and flowers that had become keepsakes. They were nothing amazing, but she had happy memories of showing them to her Father and Grandmother. 

Colette had stopped fairly quickly once she was introduced to her duty as Chosen by the Church. After all, the priests had explicitly told her that hobbies were a waste of time and a disrespect to the Goddess. She, as the Chosen, was to devote her time solely to her efforts to become the perfect vessel for Martel. Distractions would not be forgiven.

Her family hadn't said a word when she'd packed up all her colour pencils into a box and stuffed them into a corner of her room, to gather dust and be forgotten. It seemed like they wanted to, but they had simply turned away, unwilling to stomach the sight before them of a child forced to give up her childhood.

Grandmother had put her foot down on Colette attending the Iselian schoolhouse, a decision that Colette was now eternally grateful for. If it wasn't for that, she would have never met Lloyd and Genis, and she wouldn't have had such a happy time. Colette had thought, at the time, that it was enough. Surely she had experienced enough, of happiness and friendship, to leave this world without regrets. 

Her heart, that had screamed in pain, and her hope of experiencing so much more, of the world, of _life_ , had told her otherwise.

Colette had wanted to try her hand at drawing again after returning from the Journey of Regeneration. Surely now she could do it, free from the restrictions of the role of Chosen. She could pick up a pencil, free of any guilt, and simply draw what she visualised. So, upon returning to Iselia, she had opened up that long untouched box, covered with dust, and looked down upon the assortment of colour pencils, an unknown emotion brewing in her stomach. 

Was it happiness? Hope?

...trepidation?

Colette had pushed it out of her mind, eager to pick up a single pencil and just get started. It should be simple, right? She had done it so many times as a small child.

It had been so much harder than she had initially thought. Faced with a blank sheet of paper, she was able to do nothing but stare blankly, a pencil held in a trembling hand. Her mind kept cycling through the same memories - the words the priests had cruelly carved into her soul countless times and the sleepless nights tormented by guilt and her looming fate.

_If you’re not performing your duty, then you’re useless. There’s no other purpose to your life._

It had taken some time to reclaim the activity she had once loved from the insidious trap of her memories, and it had taken the joint efforts of Lloyd and all the people she had come to know as family. Everyone had chipped in, equal parts complimenting her and giving her points for improvement. Each instance had warmed her heart and further cemented the love she felt for all of them. 

And Lloyd, being the one who was always by her side, had been the one to steady her hand and offer her endless encouragement. The one who had been the biggest distraction in her life had also become the greatest pillar of light she had.

She was glad to be alive, even if it was just to spend one more second by the side of those she loved.

“Hey, I didn’t get good at crafting things in a single day,” Lloyd replied. “It required hours of practice - and a lot of Dad yelling at me. You’re putting in the hard work, so you’ll get there one day. I believe in you.” 

Colette blushed, ducking her head and avoiding his warm gaze. Even now, Lloyd still stalwartly believed in her. Even if it was something as trivial as a hobby, it still made all the difference to her. He had always believed in her. That she wasn't just the Chosen, but a person deserving of her dreams and desires.

That things had come to this point was a miracle. She had loved Lloyd for a long time, but she had only realised after experiencing the pain of leaving him for the first time - essentially the act of ripping out her own heart. 

She loved him, but she hadn't dared to tell him. She was more than content to remain his friend forever, to bury her feelings in a locked chest that would never be unearthed. 

But even then, she had ended up here, leaning against Lloyd and listening to him point out the stars. She was happier than she’d ever been.

Colette’s eyes widened as a sudden streak of light cut through the sky, fast as a bullet, before disappearing from her sight. And then another, and another, and another - until the night sky was filled with stars with a trail of light behind them, almost as if they were falling from the sky in fiery glory. 

“Lloyd! It’s a shooting star! Make a wish!”

Colette grabbed his hand, hoping that whatever he wished for would come true. 

As for herself? She didn’t need to wish for anything. Having Lloyd at her side was enough - sometimes, she even felt like it was more than she deserved. Sometimes, unease filled her as the voices of the past echoed in her mind, telling her that a sinful Chosen such as herself should have nothing. Sometimes, she was afraid - afraid that all of it would be taken away as it had once been meant to. Afraid that maybe, someday, Lloyd would come to the conclusion that she was worthless after all. That she didn't deserve any of this.

Maybe that fear and the little voice inside her head would never truly disappear, no matter what Colette believed and the evidence laid before her very eyes. But that was alright. With Lloyd by her side, she would take each day as it came. And she would cherish the time she had with him, no matter how long it would be.

♥♥♥ 

Colette was smiling, staring up at the night sky that had just cleared of shooting stars. With her golden hair illuminated by the fiery trails of the shooting stars and her blue eyes shining under the starlight, she had looked almost ethereal, like an angel that had descended straight from the heavens. 

What had she wished for? Knowing Colette and her selflessness, she would wish for other's happiness before her own. It was just like her.

As for himself... He hoped that she could find the courage to live the life she wanted. 

“Here.” Swallowing down the remnants of his nervousness and with shaking hands, Lloyd pressed his gift into Colette’s palm, revealing what he’d spent so long working on - a little dog figurine with a hollowed-out base. It was her favourite animal, and perfect for slotting on any pencil she chose to use. “Happy Valentine’s.”

Lloyd watched anxiously as Colette turned over the wooden figure with wide eyes, awaiting her reaction. She didn't yet know of the final surprise, hidden away within the base of the figurine. 

Colette looked back up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. “It’s beautiful. But Lloyd, you didn’t have to get me anything. Really.” 

“Look inside,” Lloyd said, directing her attention towards the little rolled-up piece of paper stuffed into the hollowed-out base. Colette's reaction was exactly what he had expected. But hopefully, the note would convey exactly how he felt.

Colette unravelled the tiny sheet of paper, lowering her head to read through the note he had penned. He had spent the past four nights staying up and letting his deepest feelings flow out into words on a paper.

Lloyd hadn't told Colette that he loved her nearly enough. Honestly, no amount of words or gifts would ever fully express how he felt about her. But everyone deserved to know that they were loved, no matter what. 

“Lloyd…” Colette raised her head, hand covering her mouth as tears started to spill over from those wide blue eyes. “I… This…”

“You don’t need to say anything,” Lloyd whispered, pulling her into his embrace and letting her cry silently into his chest. “Just know that everything I wrote was true.” He gently ran his hands through her golden hair as she cried, still clutching the gift he had given her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Colette pulled back, smiling through the tears. “I would love to stay with you forevermore. One day at a time... That’s enough for me.”

Lloyd pressed his forehead to hers, heart so full of joy that he thought it would burst.

It was alright that their relationship wasn’t the “perfect standard” that others fantasised about. Lloyd didn’t want that anyway. The love he experienced and the peaceful time he spent with her was more than enough. 

Watching the sunset, making snow angels, having a picnic in the forest - he hoped to make so many more memories with her, one day at a time. They would take the messy steps of life together, no matter how many it took, until they learned to be free of all the burdens that weighed on them, free to take flight and do whatever their hearts desired. 

♡♡♡

Colette,  
Happy Valentine's Day! I decided to write this down because I didn't know how to say it out loud, but it's important to me that you know.  
  
I love your smile and the way it lights up your whole face and the entire room. I love how warm your hand feels when I take it, and how easily you offer it. I love the way you tap your pencil against your cheek when you think. I love the sound of your laugh, how clear and uplifting it is, and hope I can hear it more often.  
  
I love how cheerful you always are, and the way you can make those around you happier while not even realising you're doing it. I love your kindness, and how you're willing to help others without a second thought. I love your selflessness and the way you always put others in front of yourself. I love how hopeful you are, and how much you believe in the good of others and how anyone can change if given the chance.  
  
I want to spend even more years by your side. I want to see you smile more and laugh more. I want to be there when you're happy so we can share the joy.  
  
But I also want to be there when you're sad. I want to be there when you're angry, when you're scared and when you're down. I want to be there when you need companionship. I want to be there, no matter how you're feeling at the moment. I want to know every side of you, and what makes you happy, sad and angry.  
  
Ever since I came to know you, you've made every day better. I guess what I really want to say is... thank you so much for being in my life. It wouldn't be as magical without you in it, and I hope I can remain in yours for many, many more. I'll be with you until the moment you no longer want me by your side. But until then, I'll always be here for you to fall back on.  
  
I love you. So, so much.  
  
Lloyd

**Author's Note:**

> ♥♥♥♥♥ 
> 
> I know that letter is WAY too long but you know just... suspend your disbelief a little? Colour choice was made by Okami so don't blame me for the pink.
> 
> Presea's section used to be _way_ longer, but I'm saving it for another fic. Also confession I've never drunk any type of alcohol, so the description might not be accurate haha.
> 
> The letter uses the [workskin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549178/chapters/25935135) from [La_Temperenza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Temperanza/pseuds/La_Temperanza). I apparently can't stop doing weird things in the editor, so look forward to that I guess.
> 
> Thanks for reading to the end!


End file.
